what happens when you eat stuff, or, a tale of four carbohydrates

NOTE: this is my understanding of this guy's spiel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBnniua6-oM

He's trying to demonstrate one thing, which is that fructose is bad for you. So obviously it is biased. He forgets to even mention that sucrose and fructose also generate glycogen, so I left that out too, but obviously, fructose isn't totally useless to our bodies, or we would be dead by now.

Introduction to the characters

Glucose:
A hexagonally shaped sugar
Akas: Blood Sugar, Dextrose

Ethanol:
A short hydrocarbon
Akas: Drank, Grain Alcohol

Sucrose:
Glucose and Fructose bonded to eachother
Akas: Table Sugar

Fructose:
A pentagonally shaped Sugar
Akas: High Fructose Corn Syrup, or HFCS

Someone ate a bread on bread sandwich, then drank a soda and a screwdriver. Here's what happened to them:

Two slices of white bread: 120 calories of Glucose
-> 80% of the glucose is absorbed on the way to the liver;
on the way it triggers insulin and sends signals that satiate hunger
-> almost all of the 20% that reaches the liver becomes Glycogen
-> glycogen is what we use for energy, and it's hard to have too much of it
-> The rest becomes LDL, also known as bad cholesterol, but it's a tiny amount.

A shot of Vodka: 120 calories of Alcohol
-> 20% of the alcohol is absorbed on the way to the liver;
a tiny amount of that 20% is metabolized inside the brain and you get fucked up
-> once inside the liver, that 80% of the ethanol you drank becomes Acetaldehyde, damaging the liver
-> then it becomes Acetate, Citrate, Acyl-CoA and most of that is finally exported as fat / LDL
however some of those things stay in the liver and cause further problems

A glass of Orange Juice: 120 calories of Sucrose
-> the fructose and glucose separate in the stomach in 2 seconds,
so half of it does exactly what glucose did, that is,
40% of the sucrose is used right away, and triggers some insulin
and 10% hits the liver, becoming glycogen.

-> the entire other half, the fructose, reaches the liver without being metabolized or triggering insulin
-> three times as much sugar is being metabolized inside the liver, using up three times as many phosphates,
and as a consequence, you get a lot more uric acid, which causes high blood pressure.
-> all of the fructose eventually gets metabolized in the same way as alcohol, ending up as LDL / fat
-> along the way it causes less insulin receptivity (bad thing) and leaves waste products

A glass of Orange Soda: 120 calories of Fructose
-> all 120 calories reach the liver without being metabolized or triggering insulin
-> six times as much sugar is being metabolized inside the liver, using up six times as many phosphates,
and as a consequence, you get a lot more uric acid, which causes high blood pressure.
-> all of the fructose eventually gets metabolized in the same way as alcohol, ending up as LDL / fat
-> along the way it causes less insulin receptivity (bad thing) and leaves waste products


In other words, fructose being in everything (processed foods) really fucks with our bodies, and a diet of fruit isn't that great either. Sweet drinks make you fat just as much as or more than steaks and french fries do, and they fuck with your liver / metabolism just like alcohol.